Buttafly Love

Scenario: A guy I've been dating just found out I'm a dancer at a gentleman's club. He says I quit or else. I don't think he has the right to tell me what to do but I don't want to lose him.

Response: First, a question. You say he found out you're a dancer. By that do you mean you told him or he discovered this on his own? Hopefully he heard this information directly from you. It is extremely important in relationships that information come directly from the source.


Now, as far as him telling you to quit or else, you are right...sort of. He does not have the right to demand that you quit your job. He does however have the right to give you an ultimatum; lose the job or lose the guy. He is obviously not okay with you being a dancer. You did not disclose your occupation with him in the beginning, giving him no choice of whether to continue dating you or not.

I am not going to tell your job is wrong or right, that is up to you. But you must understand his point of view. Your guy must have some ill feelings about dating a girl that fully exposes her body to other men and/or women. He may be worried about your safety. What if his friends or family find out, or worse, what if they see you? You should sit and talk with him about his objections and express your reasons for doing what you do. If the ultimatum still exists after that, you need to decide which is more important to you...dancing at an adult club or keeping your man.